31.3.11

The Guide to the Complete Universe

The Completed Universe

Okay what we see here is the universe as it TRULY exists. It looks a little complicated but hey it's the universe what do you expect. So from top to bottom I'll simplify things.

The UPPER UNIVERSE:
Heavenly Meadows Gated Community- Here we find the God brothers. God, Zeus, and Odin. Along with those three we also have Sean Connery, Aslan, Obi-Wan, and Zordon. The community is a pristine area and not just anyone is allowed in. To keep low-lifes out the Community is guarded by a security team made up entirely of Jack Bauer.
Big Bang Memorial Bench- Located just outside the gate of Heavenly Meadows is the Big Bang memorial bench. A place to sit until the Jack Bauers come and kick your ass for loitering.
The JC Pad- Jesus lives and parties here. Ever since he became a celebrity he's been living the high life here along with the apostles and best pals Adam and Steve. The lawn is taken care of by his bevy of angels.

The MULTI-VERSE:
Earth Minors- These are the minor Earths. Narnia, Middle-Earth, Potter-Verse, Midgard, and Sven. These earths don't take up much priority on the grand scheme of things.
Earth Primes- Real Earth, Earth: Jew, and Gay Earth. Earth: Jew is where all the Jews come from and many eventually started to travel to Real Earth. Gay Earth is just gay.

Of course both the Minor and Prime earths are protected by Captain Planet and Aqua-Man. Although Aqua-Man usually sticks with the Minor earths cause no one really cares about him calling dolphins.

Highway to Hell- The highway to hell starts here. It will eventually, as its name implies connect to Hell. The project was funded through Space-Tax Dollars.

The GLITTER PLAINS:
The Glitter Plains is a vast stretch of glitter that separates the upper-and lower universe. The plains contains herds of the majestic Robotic Unicorns which are watched over by the original Power Rangers.
Fabulo-Sphere- The Fabulo-Sphere contains all which is fabulous. Also in this sphere is the Pyramid of Fabulosity. You can read about that in a previous blog post.

The LOWER UNIVERSE: 
Highway to Hell- The highway to hell runs from the upper universe through the glitter plains and through the Lower Universe until it gets to hell. Along the way it connects to the Lesser Earths. Also things to be wary of are the Mormon Bicycle gangs and the wild grizzlies with .50cal Machine guns with Chainsaw attachments.

Lesser Earths- The Planet of Musicals, Trek-Verse, Hippie Earth, Disney Earth, Mississippi Earth, and Twilight-Ville. Those are what consists of the Lesser Earths. Horrible places to reside on the way to hell. Each place is filled with fanatics who can't understand the horribleness of their situation.

Fantasy-Verse-  Fantasy-Verse contains the fictional planets that have received recognition from God to exist. These include Tatooine, Namek, Thundera, and Purple but many more have put in applications. All of the Fantasy-Verse is watched over by the Great Over-Seer Uncle Jesse.

HELL:
Finally you have reached the final destination of Hell. Hell is ruled jointly by Satan, Nero, and Hitler. While command of the Hellish Pikemen is left to Stalin. Lets explore.
The Cliffs- The Cliffs of Hell can be seen as far away as the glitter plains and the loom large on the outskirts of hell. There is only one opening in the cliffs. Pterodactyls patrol the cliffs and will often pick off those on the highway themselves.
The DMV- This is that one opening. Before entering you will be warmly greeted by the Satanic Nuns. This is where all must register before they are admitted into Hell. Warning! The wait is a bitch.
Detroit- After you complete registry you are given cheap housing here. Enjoy your stay. 

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