How to drink like the Irish

Because, on this one auspicious day a year, you too can disguise your alcoholism as Irish heritage.

Again, March 17 has rolled around again. This time, on an inconvenient Thursday, but who's counting, right? So get some corned beef and cabbage and enjoy a non-domestic beer (for the sake of yourself).
Don't know which beer to drink?

Harp - for the pilsner lover, the easiest of drinking
Guinness - creamy and coffee like, you have to enjoy a darker beer for this one
Smithwicks - a brown ale with a very smooth finish, surprisingly easy to drink
George Killians - a traditional red ale with a hoppy kick that is not for amateur beer drinker

Remember, two important rules.
1.) Green Beer is almost always Coors Light, so stop being a pussy and drink a real beer
2.) Bread and Grease are the best things to eat while drinking to stay sober-ish (i.e. pizza is your best friend)

And to complete your Irish drinking experience, here is a little Irish drinking song for the night!
"Fuck you, I'm drunk" - Bondo (not Flogging Molly)

And have a "safe" and happy St. Patrick's Day!